Second guessing yourself is yet another symptom of child abuse. While it's no secret that many women do second guess themselves (more than men) it is particularly severe in child abuse victims. The self- esteem of the victim has been lowered to such a point that when it comes to life changing decisions one vacillates back and forth.This is why so many abused woman end up with abusive mates. In fact like myself many victims do not know what it is like NOT to vacillate.
I have found that this is a behaviour is something has to be addressed on a daily bases. the first thing I have found helpful is to recognize the fact that you are vacillating. The main sign of a vacillating mind is when the wheels get rolling and you go back and forth between one decision and another finding fault with both. It is this behaviour which led me in my life to a place in which I bound myself emotionally, financially, and spiritually. I got stuck because I could not make a decision and if I did make one I'd make a bad one.
I feel that this is caused by the guilt of some kind over the imaginary culpability with the abuser. In my case simply did not want to tell, did not want to remember and just move on with my life.
Unfortunately this is not something that one can move away from so easily. Likewise the abuser will obviously feel the same.
The abuser however does not want to see his victim grow and will sometimes actively try to influence others to see the victim in a negative light thereby further isolating the victim. They ideally would like to insure that the victim self- destructs from the rotten seed the abuser planted many years ago.
